CCU Baseball Lost 38-1 the Other Day
On July 3, 1863, Confederate General George Pickett suffered 50% casualties during his disastrous charge at Gettysburg. On August 2, 216 BC, Carthagenian troops led by Hannibal Barca slaughtered over 70,000 Roman legionnaires at the Battle of Cannae. And on March 25, 2023, the Colorado Christian University baseball team lost 38-1 to Colorado Mesa.
Losing 38-1 is a cosmic demolition. Back in Little League my 8th grade buddies and I beat the brakes off a team of pre-pubescent munchkins. Most of us were a head taller than they were and we still only squashed them 28-4. 38-1. Good grief. I have never seen the like.
Of course, CougMedia’s Resident Sportswriter is not unused to bad baseball teams. But even the Rockies have never embarrassed me thusly. They may make a habit of being pummeled into the ground, but even they have the dignity to only be buried six feet deep. Our Cougars, on the other hand, sprawl themselves upon the Raft of the Medusa, bobbing on the dinosaur-infested ocean of Jules Verne’s “Journey to the Center of the Earth.”
38-1 would be the largest blowout in the history of Major League Baseball. Hell, it would be a mighty blowout in the NFL. That’s five touchdowns and a field goal. That is a greater margin than when the eventual national champion Georgia Bulldogs stampeded FCS Samford, 33-0.
What’s even more remarkable is that this annihilation was achieved in seven innings!
The RMAC has a mercy rule, invoked when a team is winning by 10 or more runs after the seventh, which compared to this bloodbath seems relatively punitive. If they’d played a full nine the Mavericks might’ve hit 50.
Incredibly, the CCU baseball social media team tried to convince students to watch this. They posted on Instagram – come on out to the baseball game! Anyone who attended this game – the weather was 35 degrees and cloudy btw – must want for entertainment in ways not felt since the advent of the hoop-and-stick. If you or someone you love watched this ballgame, I will refer you to Los Angeles lawyer Mark Geragos. He filed suits on behalf of Fyre Festival attendees.
The CCU baseball Instagram did not post the final score, by the way. I discovered the score via a Mesa beat writer on Twitter.
I love the 1. The run, singular, that CCU plated – on a sacrifice fly, appropriately. At least we did not go gently! At least our Cougs managed to scratch a sliver of paint off CMU’s bomber while the Mavericks dropped Fat Man on our dugout!
What did our Cougs do after this obliteration? Why, they went right back out there and played a second game, because this fixture was a doubleheader. Actually, it was the second of two doubleheaders the teams played last weekend. CCU played Mesa four times and lost 17-2, 15-0, 38-1, and 13-4. That’s a combined score of 83 to 7. If CCU had scored those 7 in a single game they would have avoided the mercy rule in two of the four contests.
Where does CCU baseball go from here? I’m sure I don’t know. I’m sure I don’t care either. The Rockies are about to embark on another 85-loss campaign and I can’t be bothered to watch two awful baseball teams. Call me if the Cougs lose by 100.