Will Klumpenhower

The Bad Name Building

May 01, 2023

Are you a fan of Kit Carson? Are you glad CCU has a residence hall named after him, just to the right of Anschutz as you drive onto campus? Well, I don’t. I (Will Klumpenhower, First of his Name, ...

CCU Baseball Lost 38-1 the Other Day

Mar 27, 2023

On July 3, 1863, Confederate General George Pickett suffered 50% casualties during his disastrous charge at Gettysburg. On August 2, 216 BC, Carthagenian troops led by Hannibal Barca slaughtered over ...

Unfortunately, I Still Love the Rockies

Mar 13, 2023

I think the Rockies are my muse. Most artists have a muse, although usually their muses are not actively trying to kill them. Spring is almost here, and along with its mud and jaundiced grass it ...

RRR Stands for “Best FRiends FoReveR”

Mar 06, 2023

Let’s watch two best bros kick butt all up and down the Indian subcontinent.  I’d like to begin this article with a bold statement. We’ve got all the hyperbole we could ever ask for in the ...

Ascending Olympus in Search of Rihanna

Feb 20, 2023

In which Will attends the Super Bowl 57 Halftime Show Press Conference. I spent the majority of my Super Bowl week on Radio Row, where glamor does not exist. NFL titans are ever present to the ...

The Hold

Feb 13, 2023

The worst part about it is that the game was so good. Boy was it good. One of the best Super Bowls of the last decade, easily. It was setting up for a classic finish. Another Helmet Catch, maybe, or ...

Game of the Year

Dec 12, 2022

I began my Sunday afternoon watching the Avalanche play the Blues because even in their injured state, the Avs are a good deal more fun than the Broncos. Plus, the Avs started an hour earlier. When ...

I Can’t Believe The Broncos Lost Again

Dec 05, 2022

If you are expecting anything new out of the Broncos you might as well fall into hibernation as they show no signs of breaking their pattern of drudgery while the season lives. Yesterday’s game was ...

Ypres, the Game

Nov 28, 2022

Just when you think the Broncos have hit bedrock in the Marianas Trench, they lose to the Panthers by 13. It wasn’t even that close, or that interesting. I wish we could be a fun type of bad and ...