“Everything I Touch Gets Ruined”

Oct 19, 2022

We’re six games into the season, which gives us a pretty good gauge on which teams are good, which teams are bad, and which teams sow despair in the hearts of 22-year-old college students in Denver ...

Stories with Strangers

Oct 13, 2022

Welcome to week three of Stories with Strangers, the weekly article in which I talk to random strangers and get to hear a random story with them. I was given a delightful opportunity to talk to a ...

Can’t Beat a Dead Horse

Oct 10, 2022

I’ve finally gotten around to writing about that debacle that took place on Thursday evening. Lord, was that bad. It didn’t even feel real, more like a dream - a dream of bad football, brought on ...

Aaron Judge and the Real Home Run Record

Oct 06, 2022

On Tuesday night, Yankee slugger Aaron Judge hit his 62nd home run of the season. That’s an awful lot! Oh, what a hullabaloo there was! The stadiums were packed. The media coverage was incessant, ...

Aircraft Carrier Runs Aground in CCU Pond

Oct 04, 2022

CM - CCU students were astonished to find that an aircraft carrier had run aground in the CCU pond yesterday. The 99 million kilogram behemoth was discovered early Tuesday morning by Ben Fowler, ...

Josh McSpygate Gets Revenge

Oct 03, 2022

It’s never a good day when you lose to that god damned black and silver team the Raiders. I’m not going to sugarcoat that. It sucks. It feels like toenails in your ice cream. But I’m not too ...