A Commentary on Christian Culture: Ring by Spring
Jumping headfirst into marriage may cause issues down the road
My parents always say that the one thing they would change about their relationship would be finding each other sooner. They got married in their late 20s and early 30s and have never looked back. At that point in their lives, they had experienced many different types of relationships, and more than anything, they wanted who God wanted for them.
They have a beautiful love story, but I always wonder what would’ve happened if they had met earlier in life. Would they have been interested in each other? Would they be mature enough for the relationship? Would it have worked out?
We have been told by culture that marriage doesn’t matter – even that it’s a trap. As Christians, we know this isn’t true. We see God’s plan for marriages to be billboards for His love. So, we rebel against society, making marriage a priority in a Christian life.
But do we take it too far?
We hear jokes about ring by spring, getting the Mrs. degree, and finding Mr. Right. But sometimes they aren’t just jokes. On a Christian college campus, we’re surrounded by people who often share our same beliefs, and that’s attractive to us. It can be easy to only see that, and chase after it at full speed ahead. We can make it our main goal: find someone, fall in love, get married. The end.
It can be easy to disregard relationship issues, communication disconnects, and God’s will, among other things. We get so wrapped up in the idea of a big diamond ring, a sparkly white dress, and a happily ever after future, that nothing else matters. We idolize it. We forget that marriage isn’t just a wedding.
Speed running a relationship to get to marriage can mean ignoring issues. We are all flawed – it’s a fact of life. Are you willing to love someone in their flaws forever? We can often skip over communication essentials. We must be able to communicate our needs, desires, and everything else in a loving way. We also must ask ourselves if we are pursuing something because of our own will, or because of God’s.
Everyone desires being desired. We can try to fill this with relationships, but that fulfillment will only truly come from abiding in God’s love. He desires and pursues us every day, and yet we are more concerned about going on a date and being called pretty. If we don’t find love in Jesus, we won’t be satisfied by earthly love.
Marriage is beautiful. It’s loving someone unconditionally. It’s glorifying God in your relationship. It’s dying to yourself everyday in order to serve and love your spouse.
Genesis 2:18 says, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’”
God created marriage. He knew that Adam needed Eve. Not everyone is called to marriage, but for those who are, we must hold it in a sacred view.
My parents later found out that they had just missed each other many times before they ever met. They had been at the same concerts, record stores, and events before they ever met. God clearly had His hand on the timing of their relationship. He knew when they were supposed to meet and fall in love. While they wish they could’ve met each other sooner, they know that the timing was just as it was supposed to be, and that was much better than rushing God’s plan.
