The Event Center Must Be Renamed

CCU’s sporting arena and house of worship has a boring name. Let’s change it.

Stadiums can be as iconic as the teams that occupy them. Fenway Park. Allen Fieldhouse. The New York Knicks play at Madison Square Garden, the Duke Blue Devils play at Cameron Indoor Stadium, and the Colorado Christian University Cougars play in the Event Center. One of these, clearly, does not belong. CCU’s auditorium has an awful name. I aim to fix that. 

I don’t know how the Event Center got its name to begin with. It sounds like the first draft, or a placeholder name used until they came up with the real one. Regardless, it’s bad. Worse than that, it’s boring. It says nothing more than “we hold undisclosed events here sometimes.” You shouldn’t just name things based purely on literal meaning. If we did, The Super Bowl would be known as The AFC-NFC World Championship Game. The Oscars would be The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Awards. Yes, these are descriptive, but they aren’t interesting, and have no flavor whatsoever. We at CCU have undergone a naming process akin to naming your cat Cat. 

So what do I propose as a replacement? Well, there are several options. Many arenas, both professional and amateur, have sold their naming rights to corporations. This has resulted in the Pepsi Center, AT&T Stadium, and the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. I’m not a big fan of this approach, as a corporate tag seems to sully the hallowed grounds of sport, IMO. I’m not sure we want our Cougars to play, as Louisville does, in the KFC Yum! Center. Still, even that would be an improvement. 

Another alternative is the possibility of naming the building after a respected public figure or benefactor. This is not at all uncommon in the world of sport (Wrigley Field is a prominent example) and CCU itself has done this in the past – Patrick Henry Hall comes to mind. Here are a few names that I think would be suitable: 

You may disagree with me on the worthiness of some of these candidates. I remind you that this is not your column, but mine, and I shall nominate whomever I please. 

I sense a minority of you might still be hesitant about my proposal. “But Will,” you might be saying, “the building is called the Event Center because it’s not just a home for sports.” You are correct. CCU chapel is of course also hosted in the Event Center. It does not bother me to worship within the friendly confines of the Ted Bundy Memorial Forum, but I can see why others might take issue with it. Don’t worry, I have thought of a solution. 

CCU has been expanding rapidly over the last decade, constructing new buildings with the fervor of a bull moose in heat. These buildings cost hundreds(!) of dollars. I think CCU’s resources would be much better spent on the acquisition of an existing building, rather than erecting a new one. Fortunately, just such a building sits just off campus. 

Mile Hi Church, and its capacity of 1,500, would be an ideal candidate for purchase. It’s just a hop, skip and a jump from campus. We could hold athletic events in the newly-christened gym, and chapel at Mile Hi. It’s the best of both worlds. With this in mind, I contacted CougMedia’s Chief Financial Officer, Jacob Peddicord, to see if I could allocate the remainder of our budget towards the project. 

Sadly, my coworkers lacked foresight, and my request was vetoed. This was not surprising to me; I am used to asking important questions the world is not ready for. However, I am not the sort of man to waver after a minor setback, so I appealed to our department head, Dr. Ryan Hartwig. Surely a man of his caliber would see my scheme’s potential. 

Once again, bureaucracy and the prejudices of others conspired to thwart my vision. But I still had one ace up my sleeve. While it had been made clear to me that the CougMedia budget was off-limits, I could still finance this venture out of my own pocket. Let’s have a look at my bank account real quick.

I had nearly lost hope for this project, but then I remembered – I am not alone. I have all of you, my loyal and passionate readers. Therefore, I call upon you in my hour of need. With your aid, we can make my dream a reality. 

Here’s a GoFundMe link. It has what I believe to be a reasonable goal. With your help, we can fix the travesty that is CCU’s auditorium name. Godspeed. 

What name ideas do you have for the CCU Event Center? Do not leave comments down below. They tarnish the beauty of my article.