Missing my Mom

PUT A HAND UP IF YOU MISS YOUR MOMMA.

It’s something we can pretty much all agree on.

I’ve been thinking lately about the times when I really miss my mom. At the beginning of my freshman year, I went about three weeks without having any solid friends. It was HARD. Months later my roommates would recall seeing me laying on my bed looking down, usually on FaceTime with my mom. I missed her. A ton. But after a few weeks, I found some cool girls. I had tons of fun with them. I jumped into the fun of college. Spending every waking minute with my friends, I went on adventures, I drowned in homework. I barely had time to FaceTime my mom. I even found being away from her wasn’t so hard anymore.

As I look back on the year and a half I’ve spent in college, with its MANY ups and downs, I recognize a pattern. The moments that I missed my mom the most were the moments when I felt like I couldn’t do things without her. The homework was too difficult, the friendships were hard to manage, the decisions were too big to make alone.

And I don’t know what the solution is here. Maybe there isn’t one.

Don’t get me wrong, I will always miss my mom. Not a day goes by when I don’t wish I could be walking through life with her a little closer than six hours away. She has become my best friend. Interestingly enough, we didn’t have much of a friendship until I left for college. Before this season of my life, she was mom, and I was daughter (actually most of the time I was bratty daughter).

I’m in this weird phase of life where I am learning how to miss my mom without remaining dependent on her. The two don’t need to go hand-in-hand like I have let them in the past.

Whether she’s your best friend or not, I hope you miss your mom. Maybe you are still depending on her too much, maybe you’ve gone too long without calling her. Whatever the season, let’s continue to grow into the adult that our mother has dreamed for us to be.