Car Talks with Van: Mom and Dad
Welcome to Car talks with Van. My goal is to have conversations with people from all different walks of life and open up discussion on a unique variety of topics. I want people to laugh, cry, reflect, but most importantly I want to inspire people to have conversations with their loved ones. There are so many people I know that don’t have open and honest conversations with their moms and dads, friends, siblings, etc. It is important to talk to each other, listen to one another, and laugh with one another.
As I sit here only a couple months away from my 20th birthday, I feel very lost. What will this next decade of my life look like? What is it supposed to look like? Where am I going to end up?
My whole life I have had something to work towards. In Elementary school I was working towards Middle School, in Middle school I was working towards High School, in High School I was working towards college. Now I’m in college and working toward my future career. What next? What happens when I land my first adult job? Is that it? Is my next goal retirement? Everyone is so willing to give you advice on how to get into the perfect college or land your perfect job, but what about life? No one seems to have any good advice on how to get through this next chapter.
I decided to turn to two of the wisest people I know, my parents. My mom and dad both met when they were 19, got married at 21, had me at 25, and my little sister at 30. Their love story is one that I have always admired and wanted to mimic. The timeline of their lives just seemed perfect to me. I have dreamed of getting married shortly after college, settling down, and having kids in my mid-twenties. Today I sit here feeling defeated, because the timeline that I am trying to mimic is looking a little unrealistic. Instead of staying defeated because my life doesn’t look similar to my parents, I turned to them for advice on how to navigate my 20s by myself.
My parents are two of the strongest people I know. Life has thrown them dozens of curveballs, and they have conquered every mountain set in front of them. Even though my journey might not look the same as theirs (and it’s not supposed to), I still value the wisdom that they have instilled within me. When I sat down with them and asked them to give me some advice, they spent a solid 10 minutes rattling off everything they wish someone would have told them in their 20s, and this is their list.
To: people in their 20s
- Spend time taking care of your mental health
- Save mone
- Invest
- Take a financial class
- People change, and so do you
- Learn how to forgive, you don’t want to live a bitter life
- Go to counseling, for any reason
- Find a hobby
- It’s okay to reinvent yourself
- Travel
- Read Matthey Mcconaughey’s “Green Lights”
- Journal
- Always strive to be the best version of yourself
- Instead of getting upset about where you’re at, change it
- Call your mom
- Get comfortable with the uncomfortable
- Learn how to pivot and adjust, life is full of changes
- Continually work on yourself
- Invest in relationships that add value to your life
- Own an animal
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Give yourself grace, because you are going to make mistakes
- Surround yourself with people who invest in you the same way you invest in them
- Learn how to be generous with your time
- It’s okay if your house is messy and your bed is unmade
- Do the dishes by hand
- Dance. Dance in the car, the kitchen, the grocery store. Just dance.
- Laugh
- Take risks
- When you fall on your face, get back up and figure it out
- Learn how to cook
- Don’t overspend on your wedding, invest in the honeymoon
- “Perfect” isn’t your goal
- Try new things
- Climb a mountain (mom doesn’t advise that)
- Work on your relationship with God because you want to, not because you have to
- Be real
- Be around people who you can be authentic with
From: Momma and Papa Owens
